Flying high

So like I said last week I knew that the helicopter crash would affect me differently than all of the previous stories. I have not stopped thinking of my friends or hurtng for them.  Everything I do is a constant reminder of what my friends aren't doing.  At the beach with Chris and the kids, I was so greatful for every breath he was taking and every memory we were making.  I am very aware that life can be taken from any of us at any second, no matter what profession we are in and no matter how careful or healthy we live our lives, none of us are guarnteed anything.  I know that my friends are aware of that everythime their husbands deploy.  I love their courage and their overwhelming pride in what their husbands are doing for the world.  Just listening to them speak about what has happen they are never resentful or angry....probably because they are so proud of the accomplishments and impact their loved ones had on the world, they truly are forever heros!

My Brothers graduation from the Air Force

I remember my dad always telling Vietnam stories, I never understood or appreciated what my dad did in his time in the Army, I wish I could listen to those stories still.  My dad was so proud of my brother when he joined the Air Force, seemed so minimal to me, but I get the pride he felt now.  The sacraficies people make when they are in the military are so unappreciated until tragedy happens, kinda reminds me the saying do something nice people easily forget, hurt them and they never forget.  Sucks that people wait until someone dies to reflect on them and what great people they are.  I want to appreciate the people I love and cherish them for their good, bad, ugly, etc..... I want to be thankful for the great people I have in my life now not when something bad happens.  Sometimes that makes me a softy with my kids but you know what I don't care!! Because they are growing up no matter what, and they will always know right from wrong even if they get away with the wrong.  : ) So with that I would like to say how incedibly proud I have felt seeing all of the American Flags flying!! God Bless America, God Bless You, God Bless Me!!! Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust..............


I close my eyes
Only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams
Pass before my eyes a curiosity

Dust in the wind
All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song
Just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do
Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/k/kansas-lyrics/dust-in-the-wind-lyrics.html]

Now don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the Earth and Sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind

Why me, why mine why now??

A military helicopter was shot down in eastern Afghanistan, killing 31 U.S. special operation troops, most of them from the elite Navy SEALs unit that killed al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden, along with seven Afghan commandos.

We hear about this almost daily, reports of soliders being killed while on a deployment. And for most of us, you read the reports, you watch the news, but these names and faces mean nothing to us.  So we stop think and feel for a few minutes and then it's back to our normal routines because luckily that person isn't our loved one or friend.  And that is exactly how I felt when I heard of this crash.  I realized what a tragedy it was and felt that 2 minutes of campassion for the families and the men killed.  But this time it was different, shortly after forgetting about the crash I learned it was Seal Team 6, and all of a sudden I learned that this was directly affecting very important people in my life.  For a second I realized how selfish I was, these men and women are fighting everyday and being killed, and it never changes my life.  But now that it has ripped apart so many I know, my thoughts and feelings have been a little bit swayed.... I chalk it up to human nature.
It has been a great comfort to see so many people extended their hearts and time to make donations etc but then part of me becomes annoyed because many of these people suddenly have "great friends" coming out of the woodworks... It seems like people have to prove they are and were friends to the families involved.
Although my heart breaks for what has happened, I know that the guys killed in that helicopter and their families understand this tragedy in a way us on the outside don't and can't.  These widows are so much stronger then any of us can imagine.  I always find it amazing when I speak to people in the military, the commitment and dedication they have to the job their doing.  I still can't help but to be broken for my friends.  Life proves to be something none of us can ever prepare ourselves for, because we truly don't know what the next second is going to bring. I don't understand so many things that have happened the past 5 years, all the death, and pain..it's so overwhelming....some days it's hard to think everything happens for a reason. I can't ask myself questions like that but this is what I do know; Sometimes life hurts us, it robs us of something, or someone, it causes pain, a pain we did not choose, ask for, or want, it leaves us feeling out of control.


They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.