And it happen like this......

So John was released from the hospital after all of the tests and diagnosis, and it was my dad's 50th birthday. We had planned a big party for my dad and of course none of else really felt like celebrating. I had also recently gotten engaged to Chris and since we all knew that John was getting worse by the second we would celebrate our engagement that night as well. I knew that we couldn't plan an engagement party quick enough for John to be able to attend and we all wanted him at as many events as he could be at. We made it through the party and we all celebrated something much more than my dad's birthday and my engagement, we celebrated each other. And for the the first time I realized how lucky we were to all be together and how genuinely we all loved one another. I was still in shock however that I gave up gifts and "my night" to make a memory with John and my family that was shortly going to be taken away from us. Normally I would share nothing with no one : ) The next few weeks were spent at John's house bringing him candy and listening to him ring this obnoxious bell he would ring whenever he needed us. We all spent a lot of time together, talking about the past and all of the good times, and talking about the future and what a tremendous hole we were all going to have in our hearts. We were scared and sad but happy at the same time. So many emotions, crazy now still thinking about it. I remember the night he died still so vividly, he was awake and alert up until the last moment. We were all there together. Nicki, my mom and dad, and Johns sister and her husband. I remember wanting to grab him and run far away, hoping it would keep him breathing longer, as the end drew closer the panic grew stronger, I just kept looking at how pitiful my dad looked, and knew that out of everyone of us standing around my dad would miss him the most. I know it sounds selfish but I didn't want him to leave my dad. The bond my dad and John had was so special, they were the best of friends. I knew my dad was going to be truly lost without his friend. And so John died, November 1999, and it still isn't much easier. I can still hear his voice as if he were in the same room with me. His death brought his daughter Nicki back to the area because she lived in Suffolk for a while and we rekindled our childhood friendship, and I was thankful for that. Because she is so much like him that it was a comfort and a peacefulness to be around her in the beginning. I know she made my dad feel better too. My dad would always light up when she was around.
So we all kept on with our lives, my dad like I figured had a hard time especially when it came time for their annual Myrtle Beach trip. Those always sucked!
So for 10 years I cherished every second spent with my family and friends. Even when they annoyed me and pissed me off, I always tried to keep things into perspective because of how quickly everything happened with John. One day we are out to dinner and literally 2 days later he is in a hospital bed being told he has terminal cancer, and he walked in to the hospital fine and just a few short days later had to have the assistance of a walker. It was that fast. So I didn't want to waste time or not cherish every holiday, every cookout, every lunch at Rancho Grande etc...but I will tell you I never once thought 10 years later my dad would be gone too!!!! So how ironic is it that the diagnosis and everything came in the same time frame. It was right before my dad's 60th birthday. My mom had been planning a surprise party and retirement party. We were going to all meet in Delaware (one of the beaches), the guys would golf like always and the ladies would shop. Funny that party had to be altered too. It was still a great party just different than it was suppose to have been. I never thought that that was going to be my dad's last birthday. I never thought that with a diagnosis of Esophageal Cancer that he was going to die. TBC

John's Song by Louis Armstrong:What A Wonderful World lyricsSongwriters: Thiele, Robert; Weiss, George David;I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/louis-armstrong-lyrics/what-a-wonderful-world-lyrics.html -]
Are also on the faces, of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, sayin', "How do you do?"
They're really sayin', "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more, than I'll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world
Oh yeah
May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month!!!!!!



Quick Tool Time Train update:
OK so momma got her new washer and dryer. Front loaders and these puppies are pretty!!!! But of course nothing we do ever goes smoothly, we need new plugs and our old detergent is no longer of any use to us, we now have to use HE detergent!!!

Cinco De Mayo a.k.a Danielle Day of Fun report:
So my lunch date with Suzanne turned out to be quite the adventure! Brian a.k.a Daddy Warbucks joined us and got hammered, we were feeling no pain and doing tequila shots at 2:45 in the afternoon, met new friends, Va's own Ronnie and blond snookie, we left with hats, necklaces, and mustaches!! And the best quote of the day came from none other than Ava, "you guys had to much refills"!!!! What a fun afternoon!